To Start Again
by animeinvasiongirl
Summary: Kagome gets a shock from her friend Yuka, and finds out that after everything that's happened, it's finally time to move on with her life. She learns to let go of the past with help from an unlikely source. InuyashaxYuYuHakusho crossover. Hiei/Kagome. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE. Written for theDeadliestSin community Summer - 2012.


A/N: I don't own Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. They belong to their respective owners. I don't make any profit from the writing of this fanfiction story.

Title: To Start Again

Word Count: 10,072

Pairing: Hiei/Kagome

Summary: Kagome gets a shock when Yuka sets up a meeting date with her new boyfriend. The young miko learns to move on and live again with the help of the most unlikely source.

Winter, was the worst season of them all, Kagome mused. Winter had stolen so much from her that she had no love remaining in her heart for it – even if she did so love watching the snow fall. It had taken her father years ago. It had stolen her way to return to the Feudal Era. It was the season that her and her companions of the past finally put an end to the terror that Naraku had brought to the Sengoku Jidai and finally made the Shikon no Tama complete and pure again.

It was also a painful reminder of how alone she was, and how much she'd been passed over, even in those final moments that she remained in the past. The only comfort she'd received was her wish, to free Midoriko's soul from the ancient bauble that tied her to the past. She gave the ancient priestess reprieve from the fight, and peace, only to ensnare herself in the battle for all eternity.

There was no absolute good that could come from the jewel. She knew that now, even if her wish had been completely selfless.

The jewel was cursed. There was no breaking its curse, no matter how hard she'd tried.

With quiet, tired eyes, she looked out of her bedroom window to watch the snowflakes drift down from the sky. The Goshinboku, wellhouse, and grounds were covered in the light, almost innocent looking precipitation. She was learning to really hate snow. With a glance back to her history book, she pushed the homework away. She would finish it later, before her night classes. Luckily for her, she was able to pass the entrance exam into a local university. It wasn't Tokyo U, but it was better than nothing. They were less than impressed with her track record of missing days of school, but her higher than average scores on the exam had them thinking twice. She was just glad that she had an outlet for her frustration, and loneliness.

With a small sigh, she stood, moving out of her bedroom towards the stairs so she could get something to drink. The sound of her brother's video games echoed in the house from the living room, and she could hear the shuffling of her mother in the craft room. Somehow, the matriarch of the Higurashi household had taken up scrapbooking; Kagome was just glad to see that her mother was distracted with something else other than _her_ life. She couldn't remember all of the talks that they'd had since she returned for the final time. She knew that she was worried about her, but…_but._ Shaking off her melancholy thoughts, she withdrew a can of soda from the fridge and popped the top on it, giving her the chance to quench her thirst. She closed the door and sighed again softly before she moved into the living room. She paused when she looked to the phone and saw a yellow post-it note beside it, along with a couple of others. This one got her attention because her name was on it. _'Yuka called; tell Kagome to call her back.'_ She shook her head lightly before a slight smile came to her lips. Though they'd drifted apart because of college and all the time she'd missed in high school, her middle school friends still found time to spend with her; it was a wonder they even _wanted_ to spend time with her anymore. Quietly, she picked up the phone and dialed her friend's number, waiting a few moments for someone to pick up.

She was able to talk to her, and she'd found out that the girl wanted to introduce her new boyfriend to her. It was, after all, girl friend rule number one. The girlfriends have to approve of the boyfriend. Apparently Kagome was one of the first of their friends she'd gotten in touch with. The young miko was a very good judge of character and Yuka thought a lot of her opinion, she'd said. Kagome didn't think so, but arguing with the girl was pretty much useless. They'd set up a date and time to meet the next night for dinner, and said goodbye. With a cursory glance to the phone, '_Something hadn't felt right about that conversation'_ she thought; she hung up and moved back upstairs. She needed to finish her homework for school tonight.

The next day found Kagome waiting a little early in front of the family restaurant that Yuka had picked out for dinner. It was fairly cheap, and comfortable, as far as setting. She wanted to give Kagome a real chance to get to know her boyfriend, though; at this point it was mostly a ruse. Kagome already knew who Yuka was dating, though she was unaware of it.

She quietly pushed a lock of her ebony hair behind her ear before she looked up, noticing that it was snowing again. She held out a hand gently, letting a few flakes fall into her palm before she shook her head and closed her eyes. It was snowing after the final battle, too. Sesshoumaru had been there, surprisingly enough, as well as Kouga and some of his most trusted wolves. The battle had been long, but with everyone working together, they had managed to defeat Naraku; it was a combination of hers, Inuyasha's, and Sesshoumaru's power - the Tenseiga, Tetsuseiga, and her own holy abilities that brought the vile hanyou down.

It was after that that she had had her heart broken for the final time by the inu-hanyou she loved. With a shake of her head, she drew herself from the painful memories only to blink with confusion. She watched as Yuka approached her from the sidewalk, with Houjo on her arm. Was _this_ her new boyfriend? Why would she even bother asking Kagome about her approval? Something didn't make sense, and she shifted her confused eyes to each of them in turn. What was going on?

Yuka walked nervously with Houjo as they approached the still figure of her friend, Kagome. She hadn't meant to keep this from her, but something worried her since she'd gotten serious about their high school classmate. She wondered if Kagome had feelings for the baby-faced boy, or if she would have to worry about him pursuing Kagome anymore. She knew that at one point, they had been dating. Of course, it was off and on considering Kagome's illnesses, but still, she couldn't help but worry about Kagome's reaction to whom she was dating. Houjo was more or less just following through the motions. He had accepted a date from Yuka to forget about Kagome; he had found that he liked her company, and now they were quite serious about one another. This date made him nervous simply for the fact that he thought he'd be hurting Kagome as he pursued something with Yuka. Even though he'd never really noticed the girl's lack of interest, he still had her emotional well-being in mind. He still worried about the 'sick' girl that he'd managed to get a few dates out of in high school.

A few moments later, both Yuka and Houjo gave nervous smiles to Kagome, who was utterly confused. "Houjo…Yuka…" she wasn't quite sure what to say as she looked between them before she shook her head and laughed. For some reason, seeing the two, so nervous in front of her, made her laugh. She laughed, to cover up the blossoming pain in her chest. She had never harbored any sort of love for Houjo in the entire time she knew him, so it wasn't pain from seeing him with another woman. In fact, she was happy for them. She was also, however, sad; sad as she looked to the two of them and saw how happy they made one another. They didn't have to say anything; it was in the way he held her arm so gently, and the way both of them were nervous to confront her. They were happy together, and it hurt, because she had never found that happy ending.

The two in question looked to each other with confusion. Her sudden laughter was strange; was she mad? Amused? Did she not care? Neither knew her enough to understand what her laughter meant, and that, perhaps, was the saddest thing of all.

"Let's go inside." She finally said, after a minute of getting her bearings back, and wiping her eyes of a couple of tears that had managed to leak out. Yuka was the first to speak as she reached out a hand to rest on Kagome's.

"So does that mean…you're okay with us?" she questioned, giving a hesitant glance towards the sapphire eyes of her friend.

Kagome tilted her head back to look at them both with a softened expression, the barest hint of a smile on her lips. "Of course I am. You're both my friends, so…I'm glad, that you're happy together." She explained, earning relieved looks from both parties in question. Nothing more was said as they all entered the restaurant together and began talking and reminiscing about old times. As a couple of hours passed, they parted ways and Kagome made her way back towards the Shrine alone. It was still snowing, and she shivered gently as some of the snow melted in her hair.

She paused, as she felt a familiar presence on the edge of her peripheral senses. What was _he_ doing out here? She turned to face him as he seemed to almost materialize in front of her and she gave him a worried glance. He only came to her when something dangerous was going on. Of course, he also had not failed to protect her when said demons came after her, either, so she couldn't fault him for drawing danger to her attention. She owed him more than they ever spoke aloud.

"Hiei." She questioned softly, knowing he would tell her why he was there soon, but not a moment before he was ready.

"Onna." He replied back, watching as more snowflakes gathered in her hair. It turned her raven-black hair almost white, and he hesitated, before he amped up the fire ability in his blood, turning the temperature around them to something a tad warmer. The soft smile that he earned for his efforts was worth it.

She didn't thank him, but he wouldn't have wanted her to. She knew his mannerisms, having known him for the few years she'd been back from her adventures. If she would have thanked him, he would have thought twice about doing it in the future. He was so easily embarrassed when he did nice things, she noted, with a hint of a chuckle in the back of her mind.

His boss, and the ruler of the Spirit Realm, had assigned his team of detectives to keep an eye on her when time permitted. Of course, they couldn't watch her 24-7, and she would have hated if they'd had to, but she wasn't weak, and with the help of Genkai, she had learned to protect herself from most demon threats.

With neither one speaking, they turned to walk in the snow back towards the Shrine together. She glanced lightly at him as they walked, as if it would get him to speak to her any faster. Of course, it wouldn't, but she didn't mind. The longer it took for him to tell her what he was up to, the more he would be spending time near her, and she took comfort in his presence, even if they never spoke more than a few words to one another. He was one of the solitary beings of the Reikai Tantei, and she appreciated that he harbored as many secrets and heartaches as she did. Granted, his heartaches were not related to romantic love, but they were there, nonetheless. She hated that they existed, but she appreciated that he understood her on that almost primal level. He never pushed her and she, in turn, never pushed at him.

As they ascended the steps of the shrine, Kagome glanced to him again lightly before they came to a rest at the top of the steps. The shrine was bustling with people, as it had been before she'd left that evening. Her grandfather was busy running the stand that sold good luck charms and her mother was busy showing people around to the Goshinboku and her brother, well, who knew where he was right this moment. The Setsubun celebration was still going strong, though she was sure it would be winding down soon enough; it was late evening after all. Her expression softened as she shook her head and looked back to Hiei. The hiyoukai frowned at the number of people around the shrine. He liked it when it was peaceful and empty, not full of people like it was now.

He blinked when he felt a small hand around his own and he quickly looked to Kagome, who was looking ahead as she tugged him gently towards her house. He didn't know what she was doing, but he didn't move to stop her. He trusted her, which was an odd sensation for the quite untrusting demon. In a few moments the two disappeared into her house, and Kagome let out a breath of relief. She'd managed to not be spotted by her mother or grandfather, thankfully.

Hiei glanced to the young miko he'd come to know and he frowned gently at the sadness that tugged lightly at her features. He'd always known there was a clinging sadness around her, but it was also none of his damn business. He knew she had things in her past that weighed heavily on her heart and mind, but he didn't think she would tell him even if he asked. He knew for sure that Kurama and Yusuke had asked more than once about what she was hiding, but she would never give them a straight answer. Koenma had so little information on her, which wasn't exactly surprising, but it just left her to be more of a mystery than anything else.

If she were his opponent, he'd have found a way to uncover her secrets, but because she wasn't, he didn't bother trying to pry. Some secrets were best left buried; he knew that more than anyone. His attention shifted as Kagome let go of his hand and smiled back to him, hiding most of her emotions behind that smile. He hated when she did that. It was a frequent occurrence with her; she would often hide what she was truly feeling behind that almost effortless smile, but he had hated it from day one, and he hated it now. He hated that she wasn't honest with him about her emotions. That was calling the kettle black, considering how he acted and appeared most days, but still, he couldn't help the way he felt.

Kagome blinked lightly and frowned when she saw that look of disapproval on Hiei's face. What had she done? She was confused, and that was starting to turn into the theme of the day. Quietly, she turned to face him, as she questioned, "What's wrong?"

"Hn." He replied noncommittally as he moved past her towards the living room. He'd been in her home more times than he could remember and he was comfortable making himself at home – especially since it would keep him away from the humans mulling about outside.

Kagome sighed gently as she watched him walk away from her without giving her a proper answer. That happened so frequently that she'd learned to ignore it. She moved into the kitchen, taking off her scarf and coat along the way to hang them up to dry. She placed a kettle of water on the stove to boil before she turned back into the living room to see that Hiei had taken up residence near the far window, leaning against the wall. He was looking up and out of said window, and for a moment, she paused. There was a darkness around him, a darkness that was only displaced by the few beams of light from the Christmas lights that were still hanging up for the festival going on today. His cloak hung around his smaller form easily, and she let her eyes wander lightly over his body, until they came to rest on his face, which was turned away from her. She didn't know him like she wanted to, she came to realize with something akin to a jolt. But then again, he didn't know her either. Any attempts to learn about her past, and what she'd been through had been denied. She herself had seen to that. With a quiet sadness building in her heart, she looked down and away from him. She had been so jealous of Yuka and Houjo, but her own loneliness was self-inflicted. She had no one to blame but herself. She had all of these people around her, wanting to know her more, and she pushed them away. How many times had Kurama or Yusuke asked about her past? How many times had she said that those memories were private?

So lost in her thoughts was she, that she failed to notice Hiei looking at her with intense, crimson eyes. His Jagan had been interested in her since she made her way out of the well over three years ago, but she never let anything slip about her past, or her adventures in the well. Even his knowledge of the Shikon no Tama was limited, and he was best friends with the one person who knew everything about treasures of all kinds, not to mention he worked for the leader of the Reikai. The expression she wore on her face erased all other thoughts from his mind. She was sad, but as he studied her a few moments more, he noticed there was a hint of anger there. He didn't know who it was directed at, but it confused him nonetheless. She was rarely angry; she would get riled up at Yusuke's behavior sometimes, but it didn't elicit this sort of expression from her. With his own unease growing, he questioned aloud, "Onna, what's wrong?"

Kagome blinked as she was drawn from her thoughts before she looked up to the hiyoukai, some of that anger lingering as she replied with a bit of childish spite, "Hn." He wouldn't answer her question, so she didn't feel that she had to answer his. That was the wrong thing to say, as he crossed the room in a blur and had her pinned to the wall. A picture frame rested harshly against her back and she knew there would be a bruise or two there in the morning. That was the least of her worries as she looked with uneasy eyes to the eyes of the hiyoukai. His were blazing with emotions that were foreign to her; his were intense, however there wasn't anger there, but a lot of frustration. This woman frustrated him more than any other ningen had before in his long life. Under normal circumstances, he would have just killed her, but then he would have lost all opportunity to figure out just why she was the way she was. He frowned at the thought; that was how Youko would think, not him. _'I've been spending entirely too much time around the fox lately.'_ He thought wryly.

"Answer me, miko." he said, his voice dark with emotions that he wasn't used to. He wasn't used to getting riled up over anyone or anything, least of all a human woman.

When he called her 'miko', something inside Kagome snapped, as she pushed harshly at him, surprising the hiyoukai as she threw him back a couple of inches. "My name is Kagome! Not wench, bitch, onna, or miko! You've known my name for over three years, I think you could damn well start using it!" she shouted, anger now completely taking over her features. She hadn't been angry until she'd heard that; and for a moment, that anger lingered, however, some surprise slipped into her eyes as well, as the seconds passed. Hiei had never called her by name before, so why did it bother her so much that he'd called her 'miko' this time around? It wasn't as if it were new. It wasn't as if he was Inuyasha and he was calling her 'miko' to spite her.

Hiei blinked at the outburst, his frustration and now confusion, were growing as they stared at one another. He was wondering why she looked so surprised at what she'd said. Did she really feel that strongly about her name? To be honest, he'd never thought about what it was like to be her; if someone else had called him 'hybrid' or 'hiyoukai' he would have been upset as well, but she'd never voiced her displeasure with how he addressed her before, so this outburst had him confused, as well as a little angry.

"Never in the three years that I've known you have you ever mentioned a word of this, _miko_." He said, the last word was full of anger and a little spite. She wanted to turn the world a little cockeyed? Well, he'd surely help her do it.

Kagome clenched her teeth as she said, childishly, "Well, I _like_ my name. You wouldn't like it if I called you 'shorty' or 'demon'!" she pointed out, as she kept that small couple of inches of distance between them. When he called her 'miko' it reminded her too much of Kikyou. Kagome wasn't just a 'miko'. She was a human. She'd never grown up with powers, and in a way, she was trying to differentiate herself further from the past that she'd become tangled up in. When he called her 'miko', there was no stopping the thoughts that came with the mention of that one, seemingly innocent, title. She wasn't scared, though she knew she should have been. He was a deadly fire apparition; he could easily kill her with one swipe of his claws, but she wasn't afraid of him killing her. In a way, she trusted him. She hated though that he placed that title on her, even though there was no way for him to know just how much she had learned to hate that title.

He didn't reply for a long moment, as his eyes continued to bore holes into her own. She had a point, not that he would admit it. He'd had a similar thought of his own as he tried to place her reaction. He'd never seen her so…emotional, before. He didn't know if she would give him an answer, but it couldn't hurt to ask. His companions had failed so many times that he didn't put too much faith in her giving him a straight answer. "What's wrong…." His tone softened, before he added quietly, "…Kagome."

Her heartbeat quickened as her expression broke. The anger she had felt just moments ago shattered as tears prickled at the back of her eyes. Hiei took a step back subconsciously as he looked into her eyes. He hadn't expected her reaction. He didn't know what to expect, but her sudden tears were not factored into the equation. He didn't know how to react, or what to say. He wasn't a vocal demon, nor was he particularly expressive. He spoke more with his hands and his katana than anything else, and he had little to no experience dealing with crying women.

It was at that moment that the kettle on the tea pot whistled, and Kagome took in a visible draught of air as if that had helped her get a grip on her emotions. Quickly she lifted hands to her face to wipe any tears that might have fallen. There weren't any. "I…I have to…the kettle…" she spoke in fragments, as she looked back to his crimson eyes before she moved into the kitchen, ignoring the picture frame that had become skewed when he pushed her against the wall. Her mind was racing and her heart was beating far too fast in her chest. She quickly turned off the heat to the kettle, before she braced her hands on each side of the cold stove, trying to gather herself. What the hell was happening to her? She had such control over her emotions and her expression. She had kept her happy façade in place for years, and only rarely could her mother see through it. She had Sesshoumaru to thank for the lessons. What was it about Hiei that tore down all of those carefully built walls? Was it because he had so many himself? She didn't have any answers to her questions, and she had only a few moments to herself before she heard the distinct sound of clicking boot heels on the tiled floor. She whirled around lightly to face the hiyoukai. She was still shaky emotionally as he closed the distance between them.

For a full minute, they just stared at one another. Hiei's eyes were full of confusion, but determination. He had never let any prey escape, and right now, Kagome was his prey, and her answers, his rewards. He wanted to know why she was acting so strangely today. She was often acting strangely, but today was worse than usual. He could see the growing defeat in her eyes, and the resolve that she normally had, was shattering away in pieces. For some reason, she reacted differently around him, though he didn't have any answers as to why. He didn't particularly care either, just as long as he discovered what he wanted from her. He'd never really cared before, but her reactions today, and the fact that she shouted at him of all people had garnered his attention. Finally, Kagome was the one to break the intense silence as she hung her head before saying, "I have something to show you."

His ears perked up at the soft sound of her voice and he found himself following her as she walked down the hallway towards a room that was at the end. She returned from it a few moments later with a leather bound book in her hands that was rather large, though it wasn't that thick. She gestured quietly to the living room as she walked ahead, indicating that she was going into the quiet, darkened room. His frown deepened before he followed after her, and as she took a seat on the couch, he hesitated only briefly before he took a seat beside her. This was the first time that she'd ever indicated that she was possibly willing to share her past with anyone, himself included. He knew that she didn't even broach the subject with her family, and he knew she cared for them deeply, just as he cared for Yukina.

For some reason, his heart was beating fast in his chest. Was he nervous? Anxious? For a moment he pushed the thought away before he reasoned that he had a right to be on edge. She was about to share something with him that she hadn't shared with anyone else, not even her own family. He swallowed hard, as he glanced to the bound book, before he looked to her eyes and frowned further. Her eyes were filled with the deepest sadness that he'd ever seen in her eyes before. It was as if something precious had been ripped from her, and he closed his eyes in a light wince before he mentally shook his head and opened his eyes to look at her. If she were going to share such a pained look with him, he had to do the only honorable thing, and accept it. She was never so open with her emotions with the others, and that had him wondering why him…and why now?

She broke the silence, as she slid open the book, and held it open between them. The sounds of the slight shuffling of the pages sounded louder than they actually were, because the room was so quiet. Slowly, he leaned over the edge of the book, and saw a rather large photograph peering up at him. In the image there was a group of people, with the God's Tree as a backdrop. He picked out Kagome in an instant, but there were a hoard of unfamiliar faces alongside hers, and he lifted an eyebrow as he reached out a hand to touch the image, as if it would tell him what Kagome wasn't saying just yet. His progression was halted when Kagome reached out her hand to hold his back, stopping him from touching the image. He nearly glared at her but at her expression, again, so soft and broken, he stopped. He withdrew his hand back as she broke the silence as she spoke. "These are the people I left behind." She said softly, as she looked to the image with heartbreak in her eyes. "These are the people I left behind today…four years ago."

At those words, he froze. His eyes darted back to the image as he studied it with unrelenting eyes. His Jagan flared to life of its own volition as it once again screamed it's frustration at the puzzle before him. He wanted to break the silence, but he wasn't quite sure how to. He wasn't even sure, what question he wanted to ask first. There were a multitude of them swimming in his mind, but he couldn't wrap his mind around where he wanted to begin. Never before had he been in such a situation. He usually leapt into action first, and asked questions later but in this instance, he had no answers, and he couldn't just badger her or interrogate her for answers. That in itself was strange. He had no problems seeking answers and going through any obstacles to obtain them, but with her, he was, dare he say, treading lightly. It was only because she was so skittish around the topic, he assured himself, as he waited for her, impatiently, to continue.

As he withdrew his hand, Kagome let out a small, relieved sigh before she held out a slightly trembling finger above the faces in turn, speaking the names that haunted her daily. "This is Kirara." Perhaps the easiest name to utter, was that of the fire cat. While Kagome was fond of the creature, their bond was not as strong as her bonds with the others of the group, and that was most likely attributed to the fire cat's attachment to her almost sister, "This is Sango. She was a taijya…" Kagome's voice softened as a deeper pain took its place and Hiei nearly winced again before her voice distracted him, and he took in each word with patience he didn't know he possessed. "…her entire village was killed by Naraku and his schemes." She swallowed hard, fighting back tears again. The only consol that she had was that somehow, they were able to save Kohaku. Hiei didn't speak, keeping his silence as he watched her point to a man in monk robes, holding a staff. "This is Miroku." For a second, a slight smile split across her lips before it dulled to be filled with pain again. "He was such a lecher, but he was a really good guy, too." She explained, as if she had to point out that the perverted monk wasn't as his persona appeared.

"He was cursed, by Naraku. There was a deadly wind-tunnel in his hand, which he had to keep locked up by special beads. If we hadn't defeated Naraku, someday he would have been killed by it, sucked in by the void on his hand." She continued, as she glanced to Hiei. Upon seeing that she had his complete attention, she seemed to relax a fraction before she continued.

"This is Shippou." She said, as she pointed out the small kitsune that was, in this photograph, in her arms. The kit was smiling, and was obviously happy in the miko's arms, and that perplexed the hiyoukai. Shippou was obviously a youkai child, yet Kagome held him tenderly, almost exuding an air of motherly affection for the kit. That didn't happen often in demon societies, if ever. If a demon child was orphaned, rarely would they find shelter with anyone else, let alone a human. He was a perfect example of that. His eyebrows furrowed lightly as he concentrated harder on that portion of the image, trying to make sense of it. Her words just made it clearer that she loved the kit, and, given a choice, she would have continued to care for him. "He was so small when I was forced back…" her voice cracked as she clenched her hand over the portrait, unable to not show some of how painful that was to think of. Her kit, her little Shippou. Was he doing okay? Were Sango, or Inuyasha, or hell, even Sesshoumaru taking care of him?

Hiei watched as a myriad of emotions crossed her face; pain, sorrow, anger, and finally, weariness and acceptance. She couldn't keep dwelling on the past, she knew. She was only going to cause herself more pain, and someday she had to move on. She knew they wouldn't have wanted to see her like she was now. That was easier said than done, as her eyes drifted to the final pair in their party. The hiyoukai could practically hear her heart breaking as it stuttered in her chest, then skipped a beat, only to thrum into some semblance of normalcy again. The expression on her face shook him to his very core as he watched with almost baited breath as she held a shaking hand over the photograph once more. "This is Inuyasha and…" he could hear her audible swallow. "…Kikyou." She couldn't look at him now if her life depended on it. His expression darkened as he looked to the two in the picture. The female, _'Kikyou.'_ His mind supplied, had a very uncanny resemblance to Kagome, and it made him frown further, if that was possible.

He waited for what seemed like forever, when in reality it was only a minute or two before he asked, "And?" he couldn't contain his frustration and his curiosity. Who was this Kikyou person, and what did any of these people have to do with Kagome, beyond being left behind in the past? Oh, he knew that she was a time-traveler, and he knew that she had been on a rather extravagant journey in the past; how far into the past was a mystery, but by the faint hints he got from the surrounding area that the photograph was taken in, it had to have been a far different time than they currently resided in. He was anxious to learn more, as much as she was willing to tell, because who knew when the next opportunity would arise where she would feel willing enough to share information with any of them?

Hearing Hiei's tone, his anxiousness, the fact that he seemed to be practically on the edge of his proverbial seat, Kagome turned her head towards him and saw just how curious he was. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he looked at the picture, and his hands were clenched lightly into his leather pants. If she didn't know any better, she would say that he was just a little desperate. _'And why not?'_ her mind cajoled at her. _'It's not like you have been very forthcoming with them. Any of them. How many times has Yusuke or Kurama asked you to tell them something about the past? How many times has Yukina asked you to tell her more about yourself? Did you ever think about how difficult it was for them to be around you, not knowing anything about you?' _she questioned herself, as she sadly looked down at the photo again. She knew how demons were. They were secretive by nature, but they were always looking to know everything about the people around them - friends, family, opponents - it was just the way they were, and here she was, hiding important pieces of her past from them. Not only were they important pieces of her past, but they were important pieces of _herself_ that had a lot to do with what kind of person she was today. Certainly the debacle with Inuyasha and Kikyou had made her a lot meeker than she had been previously. Years of listening to someone belittle you and compare you to someone else was bound to do a number on a person's psyche.

She blinked lightly when she realized that Hiei was still waiting for an answer, an explanation, and she couldn't help but hold a hand to her head. Where did she even begin? Quietly, she turned her head to look at him, to find that he was now looking at her, that same, intense, almost scrutinizing look upon his face. Her confusion was evident for a fraction of a second before her eyes flicked to the bandana over his third eye, and she lowered her eyes as she turned and moved the book forward and onto the table, closing it as she did so. Almost silently, she turned facing the hiyoukai as she drew her hands into her lap. Hiei watched with wariness as she set the book down and turned to look at him. He hadn't missed that single glance to his forehead and he wondered what she was up to.

Crimson eyes clashed with sapphire blue as Kagome broke the silence. "You've been kind to me, Hiei. And incredibly patient. I know it must have been hard on you, most of all, not knowing much about me." She began in a soft voice, as her eyes reflected the internal struggle and pain she was feeling. He didn't reply, but wondered where she was going with this. Sure, it was hard on him not knowing about her, but after awhile, it didn't matter. She was kind to him, and the rest of the Reikai Tantei. She had helped them on numerous occasions not only with healing, but when battling as well. She had proven her strength, and her perseverance to protect the Shikon no Tama. She had earned a little of his respect, so the fact that he didn't know much about her was overshadowed by her words and deeds for the most part. The fact that she didn't single one of them out and share her story, like she was seemingly doing now, helped. Hiei didn't know anything about her, but neither did anyone else.

"I'm…sorry." She said softly, as she looked into his eyes, hers apologetic. He lifted an eyebrow at her in confusion before she continued, "…and I want…to change that." He blinked, trying to figure out what she was saying. She didn't want to be sorry anymore? Or she didn't want to be so elusive anymore…she wasn't making much sense at the moment, but then again, she hadn't made a lot of sense today as a whole.

"What do you mean, exactly, onn—Kagome." He corrected himself, before he called her woman again. Her eyes broke away from his as she clenched her hands together in her lap, wringing them together in what he recognized as one of her nervous gestures.

She didn't say anything for a minute before she looked up to meet his hard gaze again and replied, "I'm giving you permission to use your Jagan…" she started softly, before she reached out a hand, one that was slightly shaking, to place on his arm. "…on me."

His eyes widened slightly in shock and surprise. She knew what he harbored? How? When? His questions outweighed the feel of her hand on his arm. He didn't like that she knew that much about him when he'd been just as secretive as she had been. Few knew about the Jagan, unless they knew of him personally. He made it a point to keep it covered until he needed to use it, and he hadn't ever used it around her that he could remember. Swallowing hard, his gaze deepened as he questioned in a gruff tone, "How do you know about it?" It was his most immediate question.

She shook her head as she looked to him, replying, "How could I _not_?! It's been prodding at my miko shields since the moment we met!" she explained, her expression turning, for a moment, amused. The amusement left the next moment though as she gave him a small, imploring look at his silence.

"Please, Hiei? I…want you to know, and…I don't want to forget anything." She explained softly as she drew her hand back. "I know your Jagan can go into people's heads…I want you to go into mine." She finished, as she kept her eyes on his. She looked older than she really was in that moment. The maturity and understanding in her eyes threw him for a loop as his eyes narrowed a fraction. She knew what she was asking, and she was fine with it. Anyone else who knew what the Jagan could do would avoid coming in contact with it at all costs. She was sitting before him, willing to accept it with open arms. His expression gentled at that thought; she had accepted all of them just as easily, so her request shouldn't have surprised him. She accepted them, but she had kept them at arm's length. He had to wonder if it was because of what happened in her past. Sure, he didn't get close to anyone else either, but even he had changed, he could admit to himself, over the past few years. Being around someone like Yusuke could do that to a person, or in his case, a demon.

"Do you understand what you're asking?" he questioned. Normally, he would have just taken her word at face value, but he didn't want to damage what small relationship they _did_ have. Even if he was, dare he say it, only a friend to her, he appreciated that he had someplace that he could go, someplace that he was welcomed. Any moment, day or night, he could come to the Higure Shrine and he would be welcomed, with open arms. She, nor her family, had ever denied him a place to stay. They had never been frightened of him, and they had never pushed him away. For one of the first times that he could ever remember in his lifetime, he had been accepted completely, with no strings attached. Not only was he accepted, but they were kind to him, courteous, and even friendly. He was treated as if he were one of the family, something that no one, not even Yusuke, had made him feel. It was precious to him, this feeling, and he didn't want to do something to screw it up. It was too valuable to him, him, who had so few things precious to him.

Kagome's expression softened and she nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. "I know what I'm asking. I also know that you'll be able to see everything about me, all my memories…" her eyebrows furrowed lightly, "…and all of my mistakes." She shook her head before she continued, "But…that's alright." She said, firmly, her expression hardening in determination. "I know you'll get to see everything, and I'm okay with that." Her eyes met head on with his again. "I trust you, Hiei."

And that, by far, was the strongest deterrent he had at the moment. She trusted him, but did he trust himself enough to go through her mind? Did he trust himself, that he wouldn't hurt her? The seconds turned into minutes as they stared at one another, the hiyoukai's mind racing with the decision that lay before him, and Kagome's mind racing with the thought of him refusing. Hiei was by far the most complex of the Reikai Tantei, and yet, the simplest as well. She recognized that he had to have a very trying past to get to where he was today; at the same time, somehow he'd managed to keep faith, even if it was just a sliver, in humanity. (Even if most of his acquaintances were demons.) The more he was around Yusuke and Kuwabara, and the more they proved their true worth, the more she saw him learn to reserve judgment on humans until he got to know them better. She could remember how it was in the beginning with their own relationship, and she had seen how his trust in her grew as time passed. It pleased her, knowing that she truly had a shot at earning his trust. It had been so difficult with Inuyasha in the beginning that she wasn't sure there was anything left of her to be trustworthy of after that fiasco. Finally, she saw a determination grow in those crimson orbs before her and her mind seemed to stop long enough for her to see Hiei's small nod of affirmation.

"You're a fool, onna." He began in a quiet, darkened tone. Kagome opened her mouth to correct him but his next sentence stopped her, "…but I will do this, because you asked it of me." Her heart stopped in her chest a full few seconds before she smiled, even as her vision blurred slightly. He was doing this, because she asked him to. He was doing it for _her_ even if he wasn't particularly thrilled with the idea. She meant enough to him that he would fulfill her request, though there was great risk involved with himself. She wasn't aware of it, but he was putting a lot on the line for her. She had an idea though, that he didn't do things like this for just anyone – while she was making him feel special by imparting her past with him, he was making her feel special by fulfilling her request.

"Thank you, Hiei." She whispered softly, even as she lifted a hand to wipe at her eyes lightly. Even though he didn't like people thanking him, it was too hard not to. This request meant everything to her. He'd noticed the residual tears and he wasn't sure why she would be touched by his words, but he didn't question it. Soon enough, everything would make sense, or so he hoped.

He didn't get a chance to think it over too deeply, because in the next moment, the shield around her mind was _gone_ and the Jagan raced forward and slammed into her unprotected memories with a force he'd never felt before. Kagome hissed at the unexpected contact with the inherently dark creature, which made Hiei growl as he ascertained his dominance over the psychic implant. It was easier said than done as he fought with it; he had to use strength that he hadn't had to use in decades to get the creature to obey him. The only thing that helped tip the scales was that both the hiyoukai and the creature knew that their answers were now within their grasp.

Slowly, the memories unwound from a tight bundle in the back of her mind. Other memories, those of him, of their meetings, of conversations between her and Yukina, swirled at the forefront of her mind. They were blocking his way from the more interesting memories he wanted to see, so with a flick of his hand, he pushed the screenshots of her life away as he approached the darker, almost dull memories in the back of her head.

"_I'm not in Tokyo anymore…"_

"_Are those…?"_

"_OSUWARI!"_

"_You BROKE it?!"_

"_Please don't say my name…please…" _

"_Kikyou…"_

"_Inuyasha!"_

"_Would you do me the honor of bearing my child?" _

"_I'm going home, STUPID!"_

"_Heh, and how's MY woman?" _

"_I do detect an evil aura over your house…"_

"_Let's go, Kirara!"_

"_Kagome! Inuyasha was mean to me!"_

"_Naraku…all of this is Naraku's fault!" _

"_I admit it…I'm jealous of Kikyou. I'm such a horrible person." _

"_Wench! You could've gotten yourself killed!"_

"_I accept you Inuyasha…just as you are." _

"_Kagome….I'm sorry." _

Voices that didn't belong to the woman before him drifted up from the recesses of her mind. The faces were crystal clear; the voices reverberated in her memory. The images that he saw on paper, were now in clear detail as they came to life, and the personalities and affection she felt for each person were more than obvious. She had loved the hanyou clad in red, and he had tossed her aside. He had led her on for years, throughout her journey, only to look over her in the end for his first love, that of Kagome's previous incarnation, Kikyou. The heartbreak was fresh, as if it happened yesterday. For Kagome, that was almost an accurate statement. Even he had been unaware of what and why, the Reikai Tantei had to look after her, but now it all made sense. The jewel was a part of her now. She was the living, breathing, Guardian. Time had stopped for her, but was she even fully aware of that? Or was she ignoring it? The answers weren't forthcoming but that was okay to the hiyoukai. He had enough information to process as it was.

He watched as she shattered the ancient and powerful Shikon no Tama, and then, struggled to fix it, all while trying to live a normal life. He watched her fight to keep up her life in the present, all while fighting in the past to protect people that he wouldn't have given a care about. She had embraced them, cared for them, healed them when she could, and otherwise loved them. The one she had loved the most had returned her kindness with betrayal and heartbreak. Somehow it was a recurring theme in her memories; the pain, and the sadness. It explained a lot about her, and he was pleased to know one thing – her kindness was real, it was just the way she was. She was kind no matter the situation, but he also began to understand why she would keep all of this a secret from them: she was afraid they wouldn't believe her. He had to begrudgingly admit that her fears were validated; if he hadn't seen it for himself, he wouldn't have believed her.

She had been through a set of hells that surprised him. He'd had his own trials to go through in his life, but he found his place in the world – with the Reikai Tantei, and with a shock, he realized he'd found a place in the world with her. Her affection towards him was just as real as her affection towards her friends in the past. There was something else there though, something that irritated him greatly. A part of her heart still yearned for Inuyasha.

To him, that was unacceptable.

She could forgive Inuyasha for being an idiot, and for hurting her. Hiei couldn't rightly tell her not to considering just who she was. But for her to still be in pain after all this time because of the inu-youkai wasn't right. He had seen her happy in her memories. It was with a little disappointment that he realized that he'd never seen her smile like she did in the past. There was an image, a crystal clear picture of her smiling hiding in the corner of her memories. It was covered in the darkness of her pain, and overshadowed by her heartbreak, but it was shining with how she could be. It held all the potential of a young girl in love, marred only by the fact that it never came to fruition.

She wasn't young anymore, but that image reflected the hope she held onto – she only wished to be loved.

Forcefully, he ripped himself away from her memories and drew away from the recesses of her mind. When he was able to settle inside his own mind again, he found that her face was screwed up with pain and there were tears running down her cheeks. He mentally cursed at himself for causing her so much pain – she knew that there would be some repercussions of confronting the past that she held walled up in the back of her mind, but she didn't realize how much she tried to ignore that part of her. She focused on the present, and tried to ignore everything about the past. She'd never truly dealt with it.

Once she felt Hiei pull away from her, she reached up her hands to quickly wipe at her face, only to find that the tears kept pouring down her cheeks. Hiei finally looked at her – and finally understood some of why she was the way she was. There was so much pain she held back from everyone, only to cover it up with an endless smile. He wasn't sure what to say or what to do to tell her that he wasn't like the hanyou. None of his teammates would abandon her when she needed them.

Reaching a hand forward, he placed it on her arm and tried to move her hands from her face. "I would always be loyal to you." He said, his tone dark with the uncertainty of the situation. He wasn't even sure what he was offering her, but he knew that she had earned his trust, and his protection. She had earned his kindness, just as she had given him hers all of these years. She deserved more than this – she deserved more than tears and sadness. Ironically, she felt the same way towards him. He deserved more than what life had given him. He deserved to be safe and happy. He deserved to be accepted. She had given him that, and now, he wanted to return that.

Kagome lifted her head from her hands at his touch. Tears slipped quickly down her pale cheeks as sapphire blue eyes met red. She didn't understand why he would be loyal to her. He had to have seen how weak and helpless she was in the past. He had to have seen how hard it was to protect her. Inuyasha was so strong, but even he struggled to keep her safe. "Why?" she asked.

"Because you have earned it. You deserve to feel safe." He didn't mention what other emotions were pinging around in his heart, but he knew that before he met her, he'd never known the feeling of anticipation, like he was feeling now, and anxiousness, just to see her happy again and not crying.

Her expression fell again before she whispered, "I should be saying that to you." Her eyes flicked momentarily back to his eyes before she moved her hands to hold his own. His heart sped up at that one small touch and he couldn't stop himself from drawing her forward to his body again. When he'd had her pinned to the wall, he'd almost lost control of himself for a moment. Now that it was clear that she wanted him to feel safe, that she'd been protecting him as strongly as he'd been protecting her all these years, he never wanted to let her go. He had firmed his resolve that he would replace that longing in her heart. He would erase the pain that Inuyasha had inflicted on her. He would make her think of him, and no one else.

Kagome didn't fight against him as she felt herself enveloped in the warmth of his touch again. She didn't know what was going on exactly, but she knew that it wasn't bad. This felt, for the first time in a long time, right. She rested her head in his chest as he wrapped his arms completely around her and held her to his form. His hands, which had been shaking, stilled as she relaxed completely into him. She lifted her head to look into his eyes, the stain of a small blush on her cheeks and her eyes sparkling with contentment, and happiness. In her eyes, he saw a minute reflection of the past. This was how she looked at Inuyasha once upon a time. This was the look that the hanyou had destroyed by his thoughtless words and actions.

Slowly, Hiei drew one of his hands to her cheek before he bent down to kiss her, taking what he wanted from her. She was his, even if she didn't know it yet. He had no worries that he was moving too fast, because in Kagome's mind he saw how much she yearned to move forward with her life and not live in the past. Today's events had forcefully reminded her how much time had passed – and how long she had been lost in her pain and her grieving for someone who would never love her back. She'd know it for years, but she couldn't move past her own sadness.

Her eyes met with his for only a second before she felt her lips pressed roughly against his own. She should have expected it – he was a volatile fire demon, and he never did things half-assed. Now that she had let him into her mind, her past, he was fighting to take up that part of the heart that Inuyasha had left in ruin. She was perfectly content with letting him. Her lips were soft but tentative in this kiss. She'd had a few kisses stolen from Inuyasha in dire situations, but this was completely different from anything she'd ever experienced before. There was fire and passion behind the kiss, and a longing; it was almost like a physical force that she couldn't help but embrace. He longed to be accepted, just as she did.

He knew he shouldn't have been surprised to have her return his kiss, but some part of him still was. Most of his physical interaction with women was during his heat and was not personal in any way. This was far different than he'd experienced before – it was as if the emotions added another layer of intensity to just a simple kiss that he would've never experienced before with someone he didn't know…didn't care for…didn't love.

With that thought, he leaned up from the kiss, breaking it for a second as he looked into Kagome's half-closed eyes. Her breath was a little labored as she struggled to reign in the thought that she wanted everything with this fire demon. He had professed to be loyal to her – always. She was willing to give him the same. Not just her loyalty, but her heart. It was bruised, battered, and some parts were still missing and shattered, but…he gave her a reason to hope again.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. In that moment, he knew that if she gave him a chance, he wouldn't ruin it like Inuyasha had. He would take a dangerous step, and fight for her affection – not just her friendship, but her love. He drew her up into his arms in a tight embrace, and Kagome went willingly. He had to relax his racing heart before he drew them both into a situation that neither were completely ready for. Her content sigh just helped reinforce his resolve. She would be his.

The front door opened, and Kagome peeked her head out from Hiei's chest. A few light steps later, she saw her mother's face in the doorway of the living room and she had the grace to look a little embarrassed, but the knowing smile that was on her lips was perhaps even more embarrassing.

She didn't hear as her mother's whispered breath of relief as she walked into the kitchen as she said, "Finally."

But Hiei did.

He couldn't help but smirk.

/The End

A/N: I'm far more pleased with the ending on this one. The character interaction just makes me so happy.~


End file.
